Focus on bettering yourself for you, and no one else.
A brand new year doesn’t only mean changing the way you write the date. As corny as it may sound, a new year brings about so many opportunities for change.
It’s somehow easier to make a fresh start after January 1 than any other day of the year — it just feels good to get rid of old behaviors and to start making new ones that are more beneficial to you. If you’re feeling the spirit, you need to take advantage of it and make a New Years resolution.
Sure, you could make the same old cliché resolutions as everyone else: lose weight, eat better, go to the gym more, stop hitting the snooze button, stop smoking, stop drinking so much. Or, you could do something a little bit different and shift the focus to your romantic life. Or, in this case, your lack of a romantic life.
For those of us who have been stuck being single, this should be the year you stop wondering when you’re going to meet someone, and start doing things that make you a better, happier person. And if you happen to come across the man of your dreams along the way? Hey, no complaining on that front.
Here are 10 New Years resolutions all single women need to make this January.
1. Stop searching for someone everywhere you go.
If you go out and spend more time scoping out potential dates than you do enjoying your company/food/wine/whatever, you need to make this the year that you stop stressing about that.
Putting all of your efforts into searching for a soulmate is never going to make you happier — it’s just going to bring you down, and probably drive you crazy. Instead, focus on yourself this year.
2. Say yes more.
I’m not saying you should throw away all of your dating standards and give every single dude out there a chance. Boundaries are still important, and knowing what you want is essential to finding the right relationship.
That being said, you should open your mind a little bit. Don’t just date the guy who seems like guys you’ve been with before.
If you happen upon a man who meets most of your standards but not all of them, however, give him a chance. You never know what might happen. And this rule shouldn’t even only apply to dating — it should apply to your life in general.
3. Let go of the past once and for all.
If you’ve been holding on to upsetting breakups and terrible ex-boyfriends, make this the year that you let them go forever. There’s no reason to carry that baggage around with you. Holding onto the past only makes it harder to move forward with your life, and you don’t want to do that to yourself.
Do whatever you need to do to get closure, whether it’s writing a letter and never mailing it (or mailing it!), deleting this person off of social media, or just calling them and talking to them one last time. Make things right, and you’ll feel a weight lift off your shoulders.
4. Make new friends.
You’re single, which means you have the luxury and freedom to do what you want without anyone holding you back. Take advantage of this by making new friends with all different kinds of people. New friends will introduce you to other new people, along with new situations and experiences. All of that is exciting!
You also may want to get closer to your single friends rather than your friends who are in serious relationships. You shouldn’t cut these people out of your life by any means, but being around other single ladies may make you feel less alone.
5. Focus on bettering yourself for you, and no one else.
If you want to lose weight, do it because that’s what you want — don’t do it because you think it will get guys to like you more. If you want to learn a new hobby, learn something that interests you — not something you think will get you attention.
Do things just for you, and no one else. Be a little selfish here! Sometimes that’s necessary.
6. Try new things more often.
Part of bettering yourself is introducing yourself to new experiences. Remember how I said you should start saying yes more to life in general? This is what I meant.
Make this the year you do things you never thought you would do before. Try something new, go somewhere you’ve never been. Do things even if you’re unsure of whether you’ll like them or not, because you just might surprise yourself.
7. Stop being afraid to go out alone.
Too many women are scared to venture out into the world and do things on their own, without a boyfriend or friend by their side. During the new year, start “dating yourself.”
If you want to see a new movie, but have no one to go with, go by yourself with the biggest popcorn you can buy. If you’re dying to try a new restaurant but none of your friends are that into it, have your own dinner date. Bring a book — it’s super relaxing. And don’t shy away from parties or weddings that require a plus one. There’s nothing wrong with going alone.
8. No more holding onto things that aren’t working.
Make this the year you stop trying to make things happen, even when it’s obvious that they’re not meant to be. So, if you’re hooking up with a guy you like who won’t commit, let him go. If you’re trying to make things work with an ex and it’s just not happening, stop.
It doesn’t even only apply to romantic relationships; if you have toxic friends in your life, don’t keep them around any longer. Only have people in your life who truly make you happy.
9. Stop comparing yourself to others.
When you’re single, it becomes really easy to look at other people’s lives and feel sorry for yourself. Don’t do this once during the new year! Everything looks different from the outside, and you deserve more than to just compare what you have to what others have.
10. Don’t let anyone bring you down.
This is the year that you’re going to be totally confident in yourself. Tell yourself that, and then fake it until you make it.
Sometimes other people like to try to bring single people down, even if they don’t realize they’re doing it. Remind yourself that there’s nothing wrong with being single, and that you’re an awesome, independent woman making it on your own. It sounds silly, but it’s really true!
11. Improve your bedroom skills.
No, I’m not talking about having casual sex with any cutie you meet; although, if you want to do that, go for it. I’m talking about self-sessions. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you can’t have any fun. And practice makes perfect.
12. Be more honest with yourself and with others.
Communication is necessary in order to get what you want out of other people. Take this time to learn how to be honest with yourself and other people.
If you go on a date and you’re not feeling it, tell the guy that instead of making up an excuse. If a hookup hurts you, don’t feel like you can’t say anything because you’re not serious — let it out! In the end, it will make you feel so much happier.